I decided on a whim to go with my brother and my mom to a meditation retreat yesterday. I’m pretty happy that I went as I emerged 6 hours later, transformed, enlightened, bald, and with a significantly larger belly. No but seriously, it was a profound experience and I came out feeling much lighter, determined, and focused.

The beginning of the day was tough as I tried to meditate but my mind was fucking in like a million places. I thought about her, drifting, pledging, finals, back to drifting, her, fuck. The next couple meditation sessions were the same story. The meditation leaders led us through a couple different meditations such as visualizing that our bodies are filled with light and to visualize our organs dissolving but, I couldn’t go that deep as I was trying to focus on my breathing and controlling my stray thoughts. My bro said that the body of light experience was pretty trippy and my mom had an out-of-body experience LOL.

Also, one of the meditation leaders was Cameron Mathison who I learned is a pretty big soap opera star, he was on All My Children for 11 years, and also featured on Dancing with the Stars. I had no idea who he was and his major following until I Googled him lol.

Toward the end of the day I finally got my thoughts in check and I achieved an incredibly relaxed and calmed state of feeling and control. Whenever a stray thought came about, I didn’t follow it and shut it down. Only when I achieved that state of mind was when I could truly be present and reflect on my current priorities regarding who and what is really important in my life.

I’ve realized who is truly important in my life at this moment in time and only to those will I dedicate more of my own time and energy toward. I will only open myself to those that are genuine and appreciate me for who I am and what I have to offer. To the others, you’re forever dead to me.

I have two more finals to go, one consists of a 15 page research paper on Vietnam, and I’m only…. one page in, due Tuesday, and a Japanese final on Wednesday. Looking forward to the break as I have lots of things planned =D.